April 07, 2011
I thought it was a symbol of "us"
And you just as easily took it back as you gave it to me in the first place. Have you considered that to me it was more than just an object? That maybe it was a reminder that even when I'm at my lowest, there might be someone out there who still cared about me? That it was the first thing that made me feel like we might be together? I remember when you first gave it to me. It became a secret to most, just like we were. I made such an effort to hide it from my parents. But I was so proud when they finally found it because that meant I could be truly open about how I cared about you when they were around. And I was nervous when other people asked about it too. I would make up excuses as to why I had it. I felt like it brought us closer. ...was it because I got my own that sparked this? That I offered mine to you hoping you'd cherish it as much as I did yours? I asked you to hold it for a few minutes and you suddenly decide that after over a year, you wanted it again? I don't care if you say that you'll "still love me anyway". I'm sorry that you see it as merely an object. Maybe someday you can see that I thought of it as a part of you. ______________________________________________________________________ "If I had a choice between you and me, I'd gladly choose you." *insert some sort of smiley face here* *insert witty comment here* *some more smiley faces* *maybe a few song lyrics* *repeat until satisfied or signature is insanely long and people start complaining* "I was terrified, and would you mind If I sat next to you and watched you smile? So many kids but I only see you, And I don't think you notice me..." A poem of sorrow While writing it, would you dance with me?
March 23, 2011
In a galaxy far, far away...
You know what?
It's been almost forever since I posted last, it seems.
And I don't really intend to much anymore, anyway.
But this is something that has been nagging at me lately and I figure that if I can get it off my chest, it may leave me alone for a while.
I don't know how many people know about this, but for Homecoming sophomore year, I was called and asked to the dance by someone who was supposedly a friend from elementary school.
I mean, this person was literally the first guy I was friends with.
He used to come over after school sometimes and on weekends and we'd play Pokemon together, but not much else.
But sometimes I used to imagine what it would be like if we were married.
I mean, come on, I was 7.
But soon enough, we just stopped hanging out. We each found our friends of the same gender and hit the age where it was "weird" for girls and guys to be friends.
We'd still talk every once in a while, since we lived (and still live) about 2 minutes away from each other, walking.
I think the last time I talked to him before that day was probably....6th grade, on the way back from Skateland. Either way.
But yeah, "he" had called and asked me to go with him to Homecoming.
And being paranoid as I am, I immediately blew it off as being fake.
1) When I asked if I could call him back, he gave a different number than he called from.
2) I figured someone was BS-ing me because you always hear on TV shows or in movies about how people get asked on dates or whatever as jokes and get fucked over in the end.
3) I hadn't talked to him in years, so I had no idea what he was like anymore, let alone what his voice sounded like.
4) Along with the people faking it thing, he didn't seem the type for a formal dance.
In the end, I never called him back, and I wonder sometimes how life would have turned out if I had.
And even at that time, I swore had he asked me in person, I would have said yes.
If it really was him, he has missed his chance, and too fucking bad for him, since the next guy who asked me to a dance had the balls to do it in person. That's not what it post is about, though.
I guess the point of this post overall is that I miss having him as a friend, the same way I missed having Gabby Bauer as a friend when she moved to Minnesota. The moral of that story is that now she and I have nothing in common anymore and our friendship is just a memory, and the same goes for that other friend too. We've gone our separate ways, and I can honestly say I'm happy with how my life has turned out so far.
______________________________________________________________________
"If I had a choice between you and me, I'd gladly choose you."
*insert some sort of smiley face here*
*insert witty comment here*
*some more smiley faces*
*maybe a few song lyrics*
*repeat until satisfied or signature is insanely long and people start complaining*
If I sat next to you and watched you smile?
So many kids but I only see you,
And I don't think you notice me..."
A poem of sorrowWhile writing it, would you dance with me?
It's been almost forever since I posted last, it seems.
And I don't really intend to much anymore, anyway.
But this is something that has been nagging at me lately and I figure that if I can get it off my chest, it may leave me alone for a while.
I don't know how many people know about this, but for Homecoming sophomore year, I was called and asked to the dance by someone who was supposedly a friend from elementary school.
I mean, this person was literally the first guy I was friends with.
He used to come over after school sometimes and on weekends and we'd play Pokemon together, but not much else.
But sometimes I used to imagine what it would be like if we were married.
I mean, come on, I was 7.
But soon enough, we just stopped hanging out. We each found our friends of the same gender and hit the age where it was "weird" for girls and guys to be friends.
We'd still talk every once in a while, since we lived (and still live) about 2 minutes away from each other, walking.
I think the last time I talked to him before that day was probably....6th grade, on the way back from Skateland. Either way.
But yeah, "he" had called and asked me to go with him to Homecoming.
And being paranoid as I am, I immediately blew it off as being fake.
1) When I asked if I could call him back, he gave a different number than he called from.
2) I figured someone was BS-ing me because you always hear on TV shows or in movies about how people get asked on dates or whatever as jokes and get fucked over in the end.
3) I hadn't talked to him in years, so I had no idea what he was like anymore, let alone what his voice sounded like.
4) Along with the people faking it thing, he didn't seem the type for a formal dance.
In the end, I never called him back, and I wonder sometimes how life would have turned out if I had.
And even at that time, I swore had he asked me in person, I would have said yes.
If it really was him, he has missed his chance, and too fucking bad for him, since the next guy who asked me to a dance had the balls to do it in person. That's not what it post is about, though.
I guess the point of this post overall is that I miss having him as a friend, the same way I missed having Gabby Bauer as a friend when she moved to Minnesota. The moral of that story is that now she and I have nothing in common anymore and our friendship is just a memory, and the same goes for that other friend too. We've gone our separate ways, and I can honestly say I'm happy with how my life has turned out so far.
______________________________________________________________________
"If I had a choice between you and me, I'd gladly choose you."
*insert some sort of smiley face here*
*insert witty comment here*
*some more smiley faces*
*maybe a few song lyrics*
*repeat until satisfied or signature is insanely long and people start complaining*
If I sat next to you and watched you smile?
So many kids but I only see you,
And I don't think you notice me..."
A poem of sorrowWhile writing it, would you dance with me?
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