And there was no sunlight

...
nothing like kicking a person when they're down, eh?
"oh sorry, we're only going until 7:30 today"
bull fucking shit
I don't buy that
I put off my plans because I seriously thought there was going to be practice today
I really just want to say,
"oh! you all got me!
real fucking funny
you really suck at lying, all of you
you might as well have said
"'oh, hell. we decided we don't fucking need you.'"
I mean, calling from Jason's phone?
couldn't have made it much more obvious that it was just a lie
and, then, even
it's wasn't my fault it went so short anyway if we were only going to be there for 2 hours or whatever
if you weren't trying to be selfish, you would've remembered that
instead of "needing extra practice"
and I even bet that after that, everyone went to the band concert without me too
whatever
i really don't want to hear it
liars always pissed me off.

and the kicking someone when they're down part?
yeah
none of you would fucking get it
but one of my friends who I haven't been really close to for a while
something horrible happened to someone in her family
but none of you would care, huh?
I've been crying almost all day today because of it
my heart has literally been hurting because of how bad it was
and i promised not to talk about it with anyone
but it hurt like hell to keep it in
i ended up telling my mom
obviously, she didn't really get it
it'd be difficult
i still don't really believe it
but i guess i feel a little better about it
hardly
I was sitting in my room a little after I got home
and i was thinking (and still crying, a little)
I don't really know if I have anyone who would do what I've been doing for me if I were in that situation
I just really don't.
It made me consider different decisions I've been making lately
Many haven't been great
at all
I've never been great with decisions.
I'm going to work on that.
Starting with my priorities.

______________________________________________________________________
"If I had a choice between you and me, I'd gladly choose you."

*insert some sort of smiley face here*
*insert witty comment here*
*some more smiley faces*
*maybe a few song lyrics*
*repeat until satisfied or signature is insanely long and people start complaining*

A poem of sorrow
While writing it, would you dance with me?

This, our second chance, is blown

Whoa
New Quietdrive CD came out, I guess
thats pretty cool, though
cause theyre coming to summerfest on the 4 of july
and they're playing with anberlin, even!
If they aren't headlining, I'd love to go!
as a matter of fact, I'd go anyway!
but thatd be just more of a pain
if you didn't know, I'm grounded
my parents are a pain
*sigh*
oh, and WS tryouts were this week
I think I did okay
a lot of people really don't know how they did
I even asked Katie Woger, and she thought she didn't do well
but we all know she's probably gonna make it
cause she's Katie, and that's what happens.
I think it's posting on monday
I already promised to call Sky as soon as school's out to tell her how I did
but it'd suck if it were bad news
a lot
I hate giving bad news

I don't know why, but everything seems to be moving faster and faster lately
I'm trying to keep up, but it's so difficult
I have too many things I want to do
and so much that I'm expected to do that gets in the way
I can kinda sympathize with adults in that way
Having to give up something you want for something you're expected to do
It takes a lot out of a person
For the first time in my life, I really can't wait for summer
completely
school, be done already!

oh, know what else?
hm, a little about me:
I can't lie
I hate when I can't tell people's motives
I forget almost everything
I'm good with birthdays
Music is about the only thing that can calm me down
My eyes change colors with my moods
I think I look really stupid when I cry
I know what I have to do in order to be successful, I just don't have the motivation
I overanalyze everything
I can tell it's going to be a good day when certain songs come on when I'm on the bus in the morning
I miss free time
I really don't like to listen to girl singers. The higher pitch bugs me.
When I get bored, I do math in my head. Most of the time, it's either factoring stuff or imagining different outcomes when using 3, 5, and 7 (adding, multiplying, whatever)
And I REALLY hate it when people treat me like I'm stupid.
That's all
Later, blog.

______________________________________________________________________
"If I had a choice between you and me, I'd gladly choose you."

*insert some sort of smiley face here*
*insert witty comment here*
*some more smiley faces*
*maybe a few song lyrics*
*repeat until satisfied or signature is insanely long and people start complaining*

A poem of sorrow
While writing it, would you dance with me?

*sigh*

Why, hello there ^.^
Happy 100th post
sorry it took so long XD
I've been busy
with (preparing) wind symphony tryouts
and spring break
and hanging out
and being sick
and whatever else
...
oh yeah, and softball
and while I'm talking about it
may I say here that I'm sure as hell not planning on doing it again next year
1) I value my free time
2) I don't want to come home feeling gross everyday
3) Fuck running
4) I miss taking the bus home with Tori
5) I'm sick of most of the people on the team
6) I hate being told what to wear whatever days we have games (fuck that, that's half the time!)
and the list goes on and on
so you can see
why I'm aggravated

Also, for the first real time ever
I'm really glad that school's almost out
I'm sick of this huge homework surge that comes with the end of the year
and being so tired that my brain doesn't work right anymore
and answering half the questions asked to me with "huh?"
it makes me feel retarded
which isn't fun all the time
especially not when I know the answer
I just kinda want it to be done and over with
now.


______________________________________________________________________
"If I had a choice between you and me, I'd gladly choose you."

*insert some sort of smiley face here*
*insert witty comment here*
*some more smiley faces*
*maybe a few song lyrics*
*repeat until satisfied or signature is insanely long and people start complaining*

A poem of sorrow
While writing it, would you dance with me?