lately, I can't tell which way my life is going
in the sense, I just can't choose between one thing or the other
Friends or Softball?
Fun or Homework?
Lying or Being too truthful?
French classes or Flute lessons?
A new band or Another CD by one I know I'll like?
Band camp or Wasting my summer?
Something productive or Blogging? (I'm only half kidding)
Every little decision seems to have made itself into something massive
appearing to change my entire life if I somehow choose wrong
and it seems to be that is what happens the majority of the time.
I mean, there's so much I want to do!
I want to take up another instrument, learn another language, take another trip, compose another song
there's just too much to do and not enough time to do it.
and it's killing me on the inside
my parents keep telling me that I don't seem to have my priorities in place
and I guess most of the time, I don't
but that doesn't mean that I'm not happy with what I do
I love spending time with my friends outside of school
I love arranging songs with Finale
I love learning Spanish and attempting to teach myself French
I love my flute and piccolo
I love my huge library of music
I love having friends who I can cry to
I love wearing my glasses
I love being open about how much of a nerd I am (Did you just say Runescape?!?!?)
I love being comfortable as myself
I love letting my room get so cluttered that no one else can find anything (but I can still find everything right away)
I love not knowing what's going to happen next when I'm with certain people
I love sharing stale M&Ms and a-la-carte cookies with Tori on the bus, along with the random arguements we end up in that just seem to always get us strange looks from both our busdriver and Sam no matter what
I love knowing my positive aspects, as well as the negatives
I love getting strange looks when I laugh out loud at the things in my head.
I love having just a few people who understand me
I love randomly drifting off during class or when I'm playing Audiosurf
I love letting my creativity flow in the millions of random notebooks I own (with my "happy pens")
but it seems like I just can't commit enough time to any or all of them to make it worthwhile in the end.
and its just so DAMN FRUSTRATING
*sigh*
I have no clue what I'm doing anymore
oh well
off to my portfolio!
______________________________________________________________________
"If I had a choice between you and me, I'd gladly choose you."
*insert some sort of smiley face here*
*insert witty comment here*
*some more smiley faces*
*maybe a few song lyrics*
*repeat until satisfied or signature is insanely long and people start complaining*
A poem of sorrow
While writing it, would you dance with me?
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