You're far too phony to fake it.

Well, hey blog.
It's been a while hasn't it?
A long while.
Probably because I've convinced myself that no one really cares enough to read what I think.
Or something to that extent...

But then, the real questions are:
Why the hell am I posting now?
Why not just leave it be?
R.I.P., blog?

Well, I felt obligated to.
Someone has to, goddamnit!

Also, it's not like I have anything better to do today, anyway.
It's just another weekend, same as the others.
Leanne has her soccer tournaments,
I'm stuck here alone,
and no one is online because it's before noon =P.
I hate being alone.
I guess I have a mild (?) fear of it.
I mean, I freak out sometimes.
Why would I want to sit alone unless I had a good reason?
I'd rather be out doing something meaningful to myself, at least.


Thinking like that only makes me want to get my license more.
Because, guess what? I finally had my 15.5 birthday!
On Thursday!
Yay, right?
I know you're excited, 'cause I am.
My driver's-ed class starts next week
and I guess I'm a little nervous,
mostly because I really hope I know someone that I can stand in that class.
If not, I guess I'll have to suffer for the next 5 weeks.
It should all be worth it in the end.

GAH
I'm crying a lot more lately, too.
What the hell is wrong with me?
Am I losing it?
Is it from the pain of getting my teeth pulled?
Or is it because everything seems to be falling apart just when I was getting myself together?

I don't know what I'm doing anymore.
Everyone's changing.
Everything's changing.
It makes me miss early summer.
Or 8th grade.
Or 7th grade.

The only good thing that has come out of this new school year
is that Leanne and I are almost close.
She didn't even fight when we had to sit next to each other on the bus.
And, even more, we had a normal conversation.
We still fight sometimes, but I feel as though we're actually making progress towards something.
I don't know.

I feel as though something has to be done today.
I can't just sit here.
Like, some project, or practicing, or working towards something, or cleaning.
Or biking?
My brain just keeps telling me there's something to do.
Will I bother to?
We'll just have to see, won't we?

______________________________________________________________________
"If I had a choice between you and me, I'd gladly choose you."

*insert some sort of smiley face here*
*insert witty comment here*
*some more smiley faces*
*maybe a few song lyrics*
*repeat until satisfied or signature is insanely long and people start complaining*

A poem of sorrow
While writing it, would you dance with me?